I have reached a point in my life where I watch a lot of kids shows. These shows are not particularly entertaining for me, so how do I entertain myself? By analyzing them, like normal people, right?
What kind of sick, twisted little freak is Sid from Toy Story? I really think he shows signs of a sociopath. After the toys came alive and scared him he probably had to go through lots of therapy, which I don't think is a bad thing, I'm hoping he grew up to be functional, and not a serial killer or weird fetishist or something. Why was he such a little psycho?? My theories are twofold, 1 his parents suck, and 2. he was forced to live in such a butt ugly house. Have you ever looked at how ugly that house was? Who was their interior decorator? Shrek?
Next, on Handy Manny, you just KNOW that Manny and Kelly from the hardware store are hooking up! Question is, why can't they go public?
You know how on cars, sometimes, it shows cars with their little kid cars? How did they get those kids? How do cars reproduce????
Don't even get me started on Special Agent Oso. The kids on that show are too stupid to function. "Help me, Oso, I don't know how to pet a dog!" "Help me, Oso, I don't know how to kick a soccer ball into a wide net from a short distance!" Listen, kids, you got much bigger problems than soccer or dogs.
Once Mickey Mouse was in a big pickle because his "handy helpers" broke, and he had to answer his OWN door!! The gang was on the brink of missing dinner, because no one was there to make it for them!! Lazy animated jerks! But I would live in the clubhouse, that place is freakin sweet. It should be on Cribs. it appears by magic, has hands that do everything for you, has a slide coming out of it, has all sorts of entertainment nearby, and access to all sorts of awesome vehicles (ie a train, hot air balloon, etc) Also, I feel like an injustice is being done to the ducks, they don't get pants or skirts. I know they lack external genetalia, but they might get cold. As you have guessed, that's the one we watch most.
And as you have probably also guessed, I'm blogging tired. That may be the same thing as blogging drunk. I better log off and think of Nickelodeon shows to trash, since I only focused on Disney tonight. That is all. Goodnight and have a pleasant tomorrow.
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2 comments:
Cynda, you are funny enough to start a blog and get followers then get people to advertise with you. I've heard people can make a pretty decent sum because of their blog. You should do that. :D
I always want to post my critiques to kids shows on reddit, but the percentage of parents to non parents is relatively low so no one would get it. But here are mine:
Fresh beat band-you have digital drums. So unless some speakers are set up somewhere, your drums would sound more like you were playing rockband without the video game on. In one episode Shout fixes her symbol with tape. Seriously? I think they were more messed up before you fixed them!
Dora-lets just move on past the talking animals, and impossible magic. Is boots really that much of a gringo that he can't even try to say the spanish words correctly???
Barney-There is a dinosaur named BJ...nuff said.
That's all I can think of for now.
Cynda, you are too funny! I have a feeling Aaron will critique like this too when our kids start watching shows.
Aaron did show me a funny fake movie trailer for Dora the Explorer on youtube. I think you and Krista would get a kick out of it.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TnpTcrtsN3U
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