Thursday, July 26, 2012

Celebrity Dreams

I am fortunate to come from a family who has dreams involving celebrities. They are hilarious!(with the exception of my one about Jonah Hill, that was just disturbing and wrong) My latest was a Justin Beiber dream! I was in middle school and the Beib came to stay with me and my family and I was so excited to tell my friends, to my chagrin, when I got on the bus and told them none of them beliebed me! Also, the seats on the bus that we sat on were arranged in a circle so we could discuss our teenbeat magazines. Anyway, my hater friends were proved wrong when my brother brought Beiber on the bus, and it was like the rapture! we all cried and hugged, then I woke up. I found that one entertaining, but there are better ones. Once, my sister, Andrea dreamed she was jumping over chairs in an auditorium to beat up Snoop Dogg. She was victorious, too. Big surprise, Snoop probably doesn't have the greatest lung capacity. My favorite is probably my Mom's. She was shopping with Tom Cruise and they left the store and he gave her a ride on his motorcycle. She asked him something, and he got offended and kicked her off. I'm pretty sure she found him and beat him up too. There are meanings hidden in our dreams, and I think the ones in these are simple. Celebrities deserve to get beat up. I bet if I had stayed asleep I could have opened up a can on Beiber. That would have been a very emotionally satisfying dream.

Wednesday, July 18, 2012

My Random and Deeply Thought Out Insights on Children's Shows.

I have reached a point in my life where I watch a lot of kids shows. These shows are not particularly entertaining for me, so how do I entertain myself? By analyzing them, like normal people, right?
What kind of sick, twisted little freak is Sid from Toy Story? I really think he shows signs of a sociopath. After the toys came alive and scared him he probably had to go through lots of therapy, which I don't think is a bad thing, I'm hoping he grew up to be functional, and not a serial killer or weird fetishist or something. Why was he such a little psycho?? My theories are twofold, 1 his parents suck, and 2. he was forced to live in such a butt ugly house. Have you ever looked at how ugly that house was? Who was their interior decorator? Shrek?
Next, on Handy Manny, you just KNOW that Manny and Kelly from the hardware store are hooking up! Question is, why can't they go public?
You know how on cars, sometimes, it shows cars with their little kid cars? How did they get those kids? How do cars reproduce????
Don't even get me started on Special Agent Oso. The kids on that show are too stupid to function. "Help me, Oso, I don't know how to pet a dog!" "Help me, Oso, I don't know how to kick a soccer ball into a wide net from a short distance!" Listen, kids, you got much bigger problems than soccer or dogs.
Once Mickey Mouse was in a big pickle because his "handy helpers" broke, and he had to answer his OWN door!! The gang was on the brink of missing dinner, because no one was there to make it for them!! Lazy animated jerks! But I would live in the clubhouse, that place is freakin sweet. It should be on Cribs. it appears by magic, has hands that do everything for you, has a slide coming out of it, has all sorts of entertainment nearby, and access to all sorts of awesome vehicles (ie a train, hot air balloon, etc) Also, I feel like an injustice is being done to the ducks, they don't get pants or skirts. I know they lack external genetalia, but they might get cold. As you have guessed, that's the one we watch most.
And as you have probably also guessed, I'm blogging tired. That may be the same thing as blogging drunk. I better log off and think of Nickelodeon shows to trash, since I only focused on Disney tonight. That is all. Goodnight and have a pleasant tomorrow.