Wednesday, July 7, 2010
Update on KJ.
Well, I'm not too impressed about the progress K.J. is making on sleeping through the night/ weaning. I think a lot of that frustration is because of our trip to Lake Havasu. He was kind of a hand full the whole time, but he was in unfamiliar territory, plus he's not use to having to compete for toys or having his cousins try to steal mommy's attention. And it was a long hard trip! Anyway, I was so tired from travelling all night and K.J. would just not stop sucking. and I felt like not much was coming out and it was hurting so bad, but everytime I'd take him off, his eyes would open and he'd start to scream. I started to lose my temper, just cause I was so tired and it was too painful to sleep through, That's when I decided I'm going to try to just let him cry it out. I haven't always believed in it, and my instincts have gone completely against it, but I just feel like he deserves a fun mommy who doesn't lose her patience with him because I'm too tired. And I feel like I deserve a good nights rest. I know it's going to be really hard for me, but he needs to know that he can't get feedings from me at night any more! I know that our bond is secure enough that this wont traumatize him at least not for very long. I don't know anyone (except my Mom) who this hasn't worked for. And I'm willing to try anything at this point, I'm tired and hurting and it'll be better for everyone if he can just sleep through the night. I'm gonna give him a day or two to get used to being back home, then try it out. I'll keep you posted... wish me luck!
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One important thing about parenting to understand is when is appropriate to let your baby cry it out. When it is a NEED, it's not ok, when it is a WANT, it's ok. In fact, if you don't let them cry out wants, they will control you and it will make them feel out of control because they're not being controlled. In this case, breast feeding is a want. He doesn't rely on it for life anymore and you can offer him other options and if he doesn't take them, then he needs to learn a little tough love. Just remember that having limits makes children feel more secure. He's at the age now where he has wants not just needs. Just explain to him that it hurts you. Even if he doesn't understand, it's still good to respect him and at least explain why. He's not going to hate you. When Nate turned one, I took the bottle away from him cold turkey (cause at that point, he'd been using one for about 4 months) and he didn't even look back. At KJ's age, they get over things rather quickly. Just stop offering the breast to him if it hurts and he may be confused, but soon he'll forget about it and move on to something else. It's when he gets to Nate's age and then he'll start remembering things and asking for them so you don't want him to be in the habit of something you don't want him to be. But at this point, 1 year olds are pretty malleable.
Good luck! Love you!
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