KJ's Two!

It's been 2 years (and one day) since I became a Mom! The time has flown by, but I also feel like I've had this little man with me forever. Even though he drives me crazy on a daily basis, I love him so much! He is so funny and friendly and curious and kind and loving and energetic. He is also the best dancer I have ever seen and an awesome big brother. I can't believe how much he has grown and how big he is getting! I can't even describe how much I love him and how strong the bond is between us. I thought having Koa would change our relationship, and it has, but I still love him just as much!
Here are some things I'd like to remember about my boy at this crazy age:
Favorites:
Food: Chicken nuggets and fruit snacks, and pretty much any other unhealthy thing there is. Ha ha
Toy: Any ball or car.
Movie: Cars, duh.
Book: any cars books, or touch and feel books
Color: I don't know. I'll say red cause it's the color of lightning mcqueen. He loves that show! He get's all excited when he see's anything from the movie, he says "Cah's!!! Whoa!!"
Animal: He LOVES animals! He is always smothering his uncle's dogs, but he was a big fan of the stupid cat that would come to visit us in Ivins. So I'll say cat or dog.
TV Show: Mickey Mouse Clubhouse! He loves him some Mickey!
Person: MOMMY!!! Just kidding, I think his little brother actually has me beat.
He hasn't been talking that much, at least not in english. He has a very interesting language that we call "Gong gong" because that was his favorite phrase for a while, I don't know what it meant. But he does have some words. Usually he just likes to say part of the word. Here are some of the words he says that I understand... I think.
Eez peaz: Please
Kwah: Koa, but this also might be cry, cause he said it to me when I cried the other day.
Cah: Car
Bah: Ball
Ee: Ear
Boo: Booger. I know this because he only says it when he picks his nose. or my nose. or Koa's nose.
Kee: Cookie. He thinks most foods are cookies.
Tay too- Thank you. He just started that one yesterday. I'm so excited!
He also says Baby, Mama(not often he calls me n'dah- Cynda), Dada, and Uh-oh. He says Uh oh so cute! He also nods his head in approval when he sees or eats something he likes. I love it cause he does it with the most serious expression. shakes his head "no" when he's in trouble, and clenches his jaw and shakes his face really hard when he's excited, sometimes he'll ball up his fists too when he does that. It's hilarious!
So yeah, that's my big boy. What a great 2 years with an awesome kid!

What a Mighty Good Man!

I had to post this while the good feelings are still here, I'm very easily annoyed, so chances are that I'll be ticked off at Kualii again soon, but I just want to say how awesome he is! He was so nice to me yesterday for my birthday. He's not mean to me any other day, but he made me feel so special and loved! He brought me flowers and a balloon and a card, and took me to my haircut, and took me to dinner. It really meant a lot to me since I have been feeling like crap about myself. I feel so much better today, and my hair feels so nice and short! Kualii is just a really good husband and daddy, and I know he loves me and my boys :0) I love him soooooooooo much!
Also, Kuokoa is exactly 2 months today! I can't believe it's been so long! He's such a cute, big boy! He is now 12 lbs 14 oz and 23 inches. He's doing really well, his belly button has a hernia, but the doctor says it's pretty normal and there's not anything to do for it. He's handled his immunizations like a champ, and had such a good night last night! He ate at like 11:30 then slept till 3:00, and I'm pretty sure he could have taken a binky and went back to sleep, but i fed him anyway and he slept till like 8:00 this morning! Holy cow! Kj, on the other hand was a nightmare. When it's Kualii's day off, if Kj wakes up at all in the night, Kualii will let him out of his room to watch tv untill he falls back to sleep, and Kualii will just sleep on the couch, so I think Kj knows when this will happen and takes advantage, what kid wouldn't? last night Kualii decided enough was enough, and made him stay in his room, which I wish he would have done from the start! But Kj threw the biggest fit. Kualii went in to try and calm him down a few times, and I even went in once, but he just had to cry it out. It felt like forever, but he finally went to sleep. I know he needs this boundary in his life. Bedtime is bedtime. He fell asleep for his nap at like 11:30 this morning so we'll see how the rest of the day goes.... Anyway, there's a lovely update on my manly men. I'm so glad I have them in my life!

Kuokoa Ronald Min

Cute and squishy and ready for bed!Brother watching movies and holding baby

This one is the best one to descrive their relationship so far. AAAAHHH!

Me and my Koa boy

Happy family. This is why I went natural!

Woo hoo! I have internet again! I wanted to write down Koa's birth story while it's still pretty fresh in my mind. I haven't really written down K.J.'s so maybe later I can take a trip down memory lane and write his so we can compare, the experiences were vastly different from one another, but I got a precious baby boy out of both of them, so that's good:)

Ok, most of you know how shook up I was after having K.J. My lame epidural cord kinked and I felt horrible pain when I was dilated to an 8, so when we found out I was pregnant again I was really afraid of going through that again, so I decided to get educated. Most of my friends were really into natural childbirth, and through my friend Shauntae, I met Janet Barton, who is a midwife, doula and natural childbirth teacher. So I signed up for her class, and Annie did too. It was really cool to have such a close friend to go to class with and share opinions and compare notes on pregnancy and kids (our older boys are a month apart too). Before I get into the details, I need to give props to my coach! Kualii was so awesome, not only for the labor and delivery, but for the class too. I didn't even think he'd want to come to the classes with me, so I asked him to at least come for the first one, and he was hooked after that. The fact that he took it seriously made me feel so supported and safe. What a good coach!

Ok, so I was armed with knowledge, and I decided that I wanted the best of both natural and medical worlds, which is exactly what I got! I have a really great doctor- thanks Krista- who I really trust, so I wasn't going to totally disregard everything he said. He was very supportive of my plans, and had faith in me that I could do it. I went to my weekly checkup on the 25th, 2 weeks before my due date, I think I was almost to a 4 at this point and I had him sweep my membranes, not really expecting much. By the next morning I was feeling pretty uncomfortable, I wasn't sure if they were contractions yet, just discomfort, and I was awake before K.J. which is weird. K.J. is a night owl/morning person. Lucky me :0/ I really wanted to lay down and rest but I just couldn't any more, so I waited for K.J. to get up and then they started to feel more like contractions. They were irregular in time and intensity. But they didn't go away, so I called Kualii and he came home. I was happy we got to spend the day together because it was our anniversary. the contractions didn't change so we rested, I took a bath, or two:) we walked to the park with K.J. and I didn't have a lot of change so we decided to take a drive and pay our rent. We went to Kualii's mom's and she took K.J. so I could relax and focus. I layed down for a while, and took another bath. I loved getting in the bath, it felt so good. Then they stopped. I know they tell you not to get discouraged, but tell a hormonal woman who feels like a small alien has taken over her body that she might have just had a lovely day of contractions and not get a baby out of it that very day, she will get discouraged. So I cried for a while, and by 6:00 the contractions were back, but this time they were regular and intense! I showered and got everything ready and we left at 8:00. We went and said goodbye to my K.J. boy, my nieces were very concerned about me. Lehua even gave me a bandaid because I was really hurting by then. It felt really good to stand, sitting killed me. Kualii ate a real quick dinner, the neighbor came over and he and Kualii gave me a blessing, and we left. It was nice to drive past the temple where we got married on our anniversary to go extend our family, even though I was in lots of pain. By the way, Krista was my awesome texting doula, she really helped me! I texted her all day, even through transition. We got there at about 8:40, I got checked, I was dilated to a 7 they hurried and hooked me up to an IV, I didn't want one, but I was strep B positive, so I did it and I didn't really mind it, I didn't like having to stand right by the monitors, cause I had to pee a lot. they got me into my delivery room, and I still couldn't sit. at this point, I couldn't even sit to pee, I stood! they checked me and I was to a 9. They called Dr. Clark, who came from playing volley ball- ha ha! It was funny, he had to get scrub pants there and there were only the smallest size, he wasn't pleased about it, but it was funny, the nurses were teasing him, and I think you can tell how good a doctor is by his relationship with the nurses. He was a good sport and joked with them, it was such a good, Cynda-like atmosphere! I had to keep telling myself "I can do this, I can do this, I can do it!" It was funny to say it out loud, but it really helped me, my nurses were awesome, they told me I was awesome. I said I wanted my mom, which I knew I didn't need her, but I just had to say it for some reason. The nurse said she said it too when she went natural and she didn't even like her mom! I was ready to push. The one regret I have is that I had waited to feel that intense urge to push, so I guess technically I wasn't ready, but I was ready enough! Everyone was just yelling at me to push, so I pushed, so they would shut up! It hurt SOOOOOO bad! but it didn't last long, I just had to get the head out. I kept getting mad at everyone and yelling, "is it out YET?!" I finally got the head out and having the body out was the weirdest coolest feeling ever! I think that feeling after childbirth is what everyone who uses recreational drugs is trying to reproduce. It's an upper because it is so exciting and just empowering to do it, and it's a downer because I've never been more relieved and relaxed and chill. I kept saying, "it's a baby! I had a baby! It's our baby, he's here!" and then of course, "Wow, sorry guys, I sound psychotic" I think I was talking really loud too, I think everybody got a kick out of me at least:) I held him on me and just felt his amazing, sweet, peaceful little spirit. He was a champion nurser too. I just love him so much! He was born at 9:41 7lbs 8oz, my exact birthweight. I had them bathe him, cause he had so much hair, and everything gets stuck in it! I wish the dumb cna hadn't scrubbed him so much, I had to rub vaseline on him for the first 2 weeks so his soft skin wouldn't be so dry. My stay at the hospital was so nice, everyone took such good care of us! I only wish K.J. hadn't had to stay at the same house with my retarded brother in law (I'm really mad at him, cause I found out later he screamed at my boy!Ooooooooooooh! I want to punch his big fat head!)

It was such an awesome, zen, great birth experience. It's what I wish I had given myself when K.J. was born, but you live and learn, and I'm so in love with K.J. and that's what counts. He's so cute and funny and sweet. He's a great big brother, very involved! a little too involved sometimes... Anyway, I'm so glad I did it! What a great 2 months it's been!

We named him Kuokoa which means independance. I don't know if he'll be a very independant kid, probably, he is a 2nd child. But, It describes where we are in our lives right now. Independant of our parents (FINALLY) and independant of drugs! Sorry if this was so long, it feels so good to have it written down though!

Best Thing I've EVER Done!!!

Sorry I couldn't post updates, our internet crapped out :( But I finally have a success story! I've been avoiding letting K.J. cry it out at night, I finally decided that's what I needed to do, but postponed it forever. I thought it would be horrible, I thought he'd scream for hours, I thought it would rip my heart out, but it has gone so much more smoothly than expected! One night I had had enough and reached my limit with the whole thing, so the next day I moved his matress in his room and just didn't breast feed him, he got cranky and wanted a nap, but I wasn't going to feed him to get him to sleep! So he skipped his nap, then I did his night time routine in his room and left and let him scream. That was the hardest part for me, I bawled a little, but he fell asleep after 20 minutes. He woke up at one, we did the same thing, Kualii checked on him, made sure he was ok, then let him cry and fall asleep, then he woke up again at about 5:30 so I gave him his sippy cup, he was thirsty after all the screaming, and did the same thing, and he slept till 10:30! Last night was about the same, but he didn't have to cry himself back to sleep, as soon as he knew he was safe with Mom or Dad, he drifted off to sleep ok. He did wake up at 8 and was grumpy and tired still, so I put him back in there and he slept till noon!
He's tired and grumpy during the day, I think just from the change and getting use to sleeping somewhere else, but I'm so happy! I know we still have work to do, hopefully he'll learn to sleep without those little breaks, and I've heard that when you do this method they sometimes have a relapse or setback around night 4, but I'm feeling so optimistic! I know I can handle it. I should have done this sooner! But now, I'll know for next time :-)

Update on KJ.

Well, I'm not too impressed about the progress K.J. is making on sleeping through the night/ weaning. I think a lot of that frustration is because of our trip to Lake Havasu. He was kind of a hand full the whole time, but he was in unfamiliar territory, plus he's not use to having to compete for toys or having his cousins try to steal mommy's attention. And it was a long hard trip! Anyway, I was so tired from travelling all night and K.J. would just not stop sucking. and I felt like not much was coming out and it was hurting so bad, but everytime I'd take him off, his eyes would open and he'd start to scream. I started to lose my temper, just cause I was so tired and it was too painful to sleep through, That's when I decided I'm going to try to just let him cry it out. I haven't always believed in it, and my instincts have gone completely against it, but I just feel like he deserves a fun mommy who doesn't lose her patience with him because I'm too tired. And I feel like I deserve a good nights rest. I know it's going to be really hard for me, but he needs to know that he can't get feedings from me at night any more! I know that our bond is secure enough that this wont traumatize him at least not for very long. I don't know anyone (except my Mom) who this hasn't worked for. And I'm willing to try anything at this point, I'm tired and hurting and it'll be better for everyone if he can just sleep through the night. I'm gonna give him a day or two to get used to being back home, then try it out. I'll keep you posted... wish me luck!

Well, I had my 1st doctor's appointment for the new baby. Everything seems ok, I've had some spotting so the doctor sent me for an ultrasound, and the baby was where it was suppose to be and had a heartbeat, so that was reassuring! I would post a picture, but the buttheads didn't give me one.
Dr. Clark advised me to stop breastfeeding K.J. Ugh. So much easier said than done! We co-sleep, so I feel like if I'm gonna stop breastfeeding, I need to kick him out of my bed! It's time, and I know a lot of people breast feed through pregnancy, but my boobs hurt SOOOO bad!!! I know it wont happen over night, so we're easing into it. I don't think I've cut back on breastfeeding yet, but I'm preparing. I took his crib apart and made him a little bed on the floor (he hated the crib) I took a few days and left everything the same, so I could get use to the change. It will be scary for me too. I'm so firmly attatched to him that it's gonna be tough. I figured out early on that I could not carry him from my room to his room or from the car seat to his room without him waking up, so after a meltdown, about feeling like I could never do this, and like I would have to breastfeed him forever, and have a family of four sleeping in one bed, I decided to keep things gradual. I need to be patient. I mean he's still teething, and he uses it for comfort. So, I dragged his little mattress into my room, right by my side of the bed. and last night, after his little routine I breastfed him till he fell asleep, and put him in his bed, and he slept there for 2 hours. I didn't put him back at all the rest of the night, I don't want to overwhelm us. and today he took his nap in his bed. I know It's not much, but I feel like it's progress.
This is probably real boring to anybody reading this, but I want to document our progress, so I have an outlet on good days and bad. I know as long as I follow my instincts, I'll be doing what's best for both of my babies!